3 minute read  

Sometimes our closest people tend to cut our wings. But there are many valid reasons for them to do it. Their beliefs, their fears, anxieties, lack of faith or too much preocupation could cause them to discourage you when you take up something new, brave and exciting.

The rules of positive thinking require from us not to pay attention to what our friends and family say, especially when they are highly pessimistic. But is this really the best option for you?

Many clients ask me how to convince their loved ones to make a significant change like moving to another country or starting a new business. Some of them are disappointed from the lack of support, but this resistance is normal and happens all the time. No one is immune to pessimism and very often people are concerned about your brave plans because they care about you.

I am sure you are tempted to take into consideration only the positive feedback. It is easy to live in denial and pretend that the negative one doesn’t matter, but is this the best you can do?

What’s my advice?

Listen to everyone and listen carefully and analytically, because the future of your idea depends on it.

What do I mean?

Don’t try to avoid your family and friends’ criticism. Just listen to them analitically. Ask questions, learn more about their concerns. Investigate why they believe that your plan is not going to bring you success. What are their beliefs, what possible difficulties they think you might have? What experience do they have with trying something similar? Maybe after discussing those issues, you will be even better prepared to defend your project or you will learn valuable information regarding possible difficulties.

Perhaps some of them won’t be willing to discuss in details right away, but maybe later you will have the opportunity to do so. If they are tense or nervous or they just assume to know better, be patient and very soon they will open up.

What will you gain?

1. More information about possible issues;
2. Better understanding of the concerns, feelings and personal regrets of people close to you;
3. Open discussion on how your project will affect others, especially the ones who have the right to put a veto on your decisions;
4. You might even win the argument right away and convince them that you know what you are doing.

Life would be so nice if we were able to take bold decisions all the time without having to convince anyone that our ideas are valuable. But this is not the case. Some people depend on your decisions and sometimes they won’t be so thrilled about them. The first step is to pitch your project to the closest ones and see where it takes you.

Don’t expect 100% approval because you don’t need it. And yet, be prepared to defend your ideas without giving up. This is how you learn how to take the best from every feedback.

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