Overcoming a tough breakup is not easy but everyone has gone through it at least once and let’s say it – no one ever died of broken heart. Each breakup is unique, so is the relationship preceding it, but there are some Do’s and Don’ts which, I believe, are essential to make it pass. Maybe following this rules the gloomy feelings won’t pass easier, but I can guarantee that they’ll pass a little faster and more importantly – the matter will be definitely settled.
- For God sake, stop calling her/him!
This is the first and most important lesson. The world’s history is not aware of a case when someone decided not to break up after the six-thousands-fifty-fifth desperate e-mail or sms.
Of course, if the fault is yours, you can apologize sincerely, you can make a ONE big gesture showing you love, but this is pretty much all you can do. The truth is that the chances to go back with your ex are inversely proportional of the level of your desperation. Just lose with dignity and if the breakup happened to be a mistake sooner or later you will come back together, don’t try to force it because you can’t.
- Don’t make your friends take sides.
Seems that losing your GF/BF is not enough and now you are trying to get rid of several close friends too. Just sop, please. This is immature, ugly and desperate and no one who is not completely insane shouldn’t do it, except maybe if your ex is violent psychopath and the others including the authorities should be warn. In any other case you have no right to require from your friends to stop communicating with this person.
- Act as if you don’t care.
Well, this is a strange advice.The other psychologists would suggest you to talk about your pain, not to keep it inside you, acknowledge your feelings and so on. Sure, you have to do all that at the appropriate place – at your therapist’s office, talking to your very best friend or in the shower. Making scenes on public places and the infinite monologues about your broken heart won’t make you feel better, so stop it now! If you can proudly survive the storm, cry from time to time in a safe place and avoid asking anyone about the current events in your ex’s life, the moment when you will truly no give a shit will come faster.
- Pay attention to yourself.
It doesn’t really matter what, just do something for you. It could be manicure, a new car or a MBA abroad. Every investment in yourself counts (unless it is directly purposed to annoy your ex). It might be difficult but think of something that you can do to make YOU feel special. There are two rule though, think about the things that you genuinely like and try not to spend money just for the sake of spending.
If there is nothing really special that comes to your mind you can just focus on your work. The short term downfall of your private life might result in serious investment and development of your professional or academic future.
- Don’t fall for the first creep that comes around.
Seriously, what are the chances to meet the love of your life in the day when you have broke up with someone else. Do you think that while you are weeping and drinking alone at the bar the true one will come around? Seriously what are the chances?
If you really need some affection or just some sex call some old fuck buddy, download your favorite porn, buy a new dildo or a sex doll and if you see yourself dressing the doll with your ex’s T-shirt, please make yourself a favor and look for professional help.