Do you really need to overcome envy? Here, I want to give you something that could be more useful the next time you’re feeling envious.

Envy is basically feeling sorrow about not having what somebody else has.

To wish something that we do not have can be considered as inherently human since everyone has felt envy at one point or another. However, since we understand that it’s frowned upon to go around saying that we have negative feelings toward others, instead of admitting we feel envious, we say things like “white envy” or that we have the “good kind of envy”, even though such phrases only accomplish to prevent the other person from imagining us poking our frustrations away at a voodoo doll with his or her shape.

“I don’t know what I want” and “I feel lost” are common complaints that can cause a great deal of stress. Yet, most of the time, at some level, we actually do know what we want and when we see it or hear it from somebody that is making it happen; we experience the unease of envy.

So, contrary to popular opinion, we should see envy as a light that shows us what we want. A light that lets us see desires we didn’t even know we had. To surprise ourselves yearning for something that somebody else has should not frighten us. We’d be better off recognizing it and using it as motivation to set our own goals and aspirations, or at least…to get to know ourselves better.

Popular opinion: Don’t be a victim.

There are people who have chosen as a hobby to wonder why others have what they don’t. There’s no need to feel or be negative with others who have more and become envious without taking action. What I mean is, that if you don’t do anything about your envy (your true wishes), then the problem is not that “lucky” person who has it all. The problem is you. Just you, complaining about what you don’t have when you could be thankful for what you do; and you feeling sorry for your own problems when you could be trying to figure them out.

Forget about the “Everything bad always happens to me” and “Why is that person (richer/happier/hotter/whatever else you envy) than me?” Don’t let yourself fall so somebody else can pick you up. Nobody likes a victim.

Finally, here’s a little challenge for you: the next time you’re feeling envious ask yourself why. What is it that you really want?

Instead of experiencing envy as some bad vibe towards the other person, change your paradigm and be thankful, because that person is showing you a way that you should very likely take.