4 minute read  

Low self-esteem is one of the primary causes of unhappy life. If you don’t like yourself you are doomed to conform with an unhealthy lifestyle, toxic relationships, bad communication with your relatives, etc.

The point is – no one ever benefits from low self-esteem, neither you nor the people you love. This is just an issue you should overcome and the simple changes towards believing that you are actually a better person will make a huge difference.

Nevertheless changing our own history, internal image, perception about ourselves and the way people see us is extremely hard. The bad news is that nobody is immune to the low self-esteem no matter how much one achieves. Successful people can suffer from low self-esteem too; extremely beautiful people might also hate their looks. And this is totally logical, because success is something you build constantly and once you achieve something, you instantly focus on the next level. And in the case of beautiful people who lack confidence when it comes to their looks, well this is usually due to the fact that the way they look is often center of attention and they constantly feel exposed.

So? Are we doomed to feel like a failure forever?

Of course not!

First of all admit that you have problem with your self-esteem. This is not your logical brain telling you that you are worthless or stupid. The voice inside your head that causes you to think less of yourself is your fear of not living up to your own expectations and the totally illogical fear of failure, which in some cases is a real bitch.

For instance, just recently, I achieved a lot more than I expected, nevertheless I got a little depressed, because I automatically assumed that my goals were too low and just too easy to achieve. Crazy isn’t it?

Self criticism sounds insane but it has a very important purpose – to push you ahead. But what if in this very moment there is no ahead? What if it is just time to stand still and focus on contemplating your life?!

No matter if you have achieved everything you have ever wanted or you are still on your way to success, there are some ways to train your mind to register your success and feel good about it.

How?

Celebrate success – all the times when I failed to contemplate my big and small achievements, I have felt less excited about them and as a result, I criticized more my abilities to be successful.

Mark a milestone for every important event, take your friends to dinner or go to a vacation. Do whatever you enjoy most but make an effort to relate the achievement with pleasure, because your unconscious mind doesn’t always make the connection between pleasure and success.

Don’t try too hard to logically persuade yourself that you are a valuable person. If something there fails, then no logical explanation will help. It actually can make things worse, because you will most probably not succeed and this could upset you more. Try to be less focused on yourself instead. For instance, you can do something for other person or an animal, you can do something pleasurable for your body, focus on what stresses you less… meditate, masturbate, get a massage… whatever. Just think about your goals and achievements when you are most relaxed and physically satisfied.

Try to understand why and how perfectionism is bad for you. Learn the power of “good enough“. You don’t have a lifetime to finish a project. It is better to have something imperfectly done on time than something perfectly undone. Nevertheless try to do better every time you do it again. Progress always feels good.

And last but not least, if you notice that you have signs of clinical depression, not just low self-esteem, consult them with specialist, because this is a treatable medical condition and it shouldn’t be ignored.

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