A friend of mine is a molecular biologist and she shared with me that usually when she meets new people and they ask her what she does for living the answer causes a long uncomfortable silence.
Fortunately or not it is not the same when I tell someone that I am a Psychoanalysis PhD, nevertheless there are a bunch of silly questions that almost always come up. That’s why I decided to respond to them in an article and maybe bust some myths about the psychoanalysis.
Today I heard a very passionate confession about love. In summary it said that if it is true, it always hurts. When it is mutual, it hurts because you just care so much about the other person, when it is not – it hurts like hell for obvious reasons. Everything that your partner do could be a source of pain no matter if it is intentional or not, longing for someone hurts, separation hurts, breaking up hurts a lot etc, etc. And the guy, who told it, truly believed that you should be crazy to do it this to yourself.
No, no, no! You’ve got it all wrong! If it hurts so much you aren’t making it right. Love and affection is not a continuous source of pain or at least it is not supposed to be. Even if you look at it from evolutionary perspective. There can’t be a feeling that we all feel but it is completely useless because it makes us vulnerable and weak all the time.