4 minute read

What is most valuable in life?  We will probably never know before it is too late, maybe some of us do… and sometimes we get a second chance.

The following article is about the thoughts which haunted a friend of mine when the doctors thought she wouldn’t survive her serious illness a few years ago. Yet, fortunately, she survived and now she knows a little more about herself than we would ever know about ourselves.Here are her thoughts:

“I have been stumbling upon articles about what people are most sorry for on their death beds. As a person who went through the near-death experience (as many others), I could not help but create my own list. It occurred to be a bit self-centered and not as motivating and positive as expected, but I learned some valuable clichéd lessons.

Things I was not sorry for:

1. I was not sorry for not having gotten married or for not having children. Surprisingly, I was not sorry. A family would have been the logical outcome of the long-term cohabitation. Or not. Why didn’t I do it? Although in my late twenties, I was still not absolutely certain that I wanted marriage or children at all.
   What I learned: Avoid making decisions affecting your own life based on questionable logic, instead – know yourself and grow yourself first. Give your partner the opportunity to meet someone who is certain. You cannot share your life, if you do not have a life of your own.
2. I was not sorry for not spending more time with my friends and family Sometimes I did want to and could not, and sometimes – I just didn’t want to. Some of my friends and relatives are not amongst the living anymore, and yes, I wish they were. Some of them are so far away and so distant now that I will probably never get to meet them again. However, spending more time with them was valid only for when they were still around, and for some reason I just didn’t.
   What I learned: Spend as much time with your loved ones as you believe is sufficient to make it valuable and pleasant. It is fine if occasionally this time is just in your head, as simple as a nice thought.
3. I was not sorry for working too hard Yes, sometimes it was hard to find the balance between a healthy amount of work, personal and social interaction, and sometimes they all poured into each other like a big stain of mess. I was happy for being able to achieve as much as I had achieved and for having the opportunity to fail as much as I had failed.
   What I learned: Working hard does not mean damaging other aspects of life. Working hard does not mean that you will not fail. Use the diversity of mistakes as motivation to learn and to move on when necessary. Learn to fail and get out of it with a full pocket of experience. Success does not mean that you have to be the best in what you do or intend to do. Being prepared and curious is a great, but sometimes knowing too much kills creativity and innovation. Grow and master while taking action towards what you want to do.
4. I was not sorry for kissing a stranger on the airport. Oh, what a kiss I could have missed if I had not been brave enough. Without hope or agenda, I had revealed my feelings to a stranger I had just met a couple of weeks earlier. He left and I supported that. But this unexpected goodbye kiss has been a moment of pure love. It is still reminding me of love’s existence.”