The eternal question about finding and developing quality relationship is so important for our love life and even though I don’t see much of a progress in this field. In this article I will share my personal experience not because I am some kind of relationship master, but because after 15 years of dating and relationships I can say that I haven’t been severely hurt by anyone and I can still personally recommend to any girl dating most of my ex boyfriends. I still admire them and I believe that they are truly amazing smart people.
So I guess there is a reason why things have been going well for such a long time and I’d like to try to analyze what I have done well so everyone could take advantage of my experience.
“You will never meet a quality guy in a bar” – my mother used to say. And I always responded : “Well nice guys also go out, right!?”
Funny enough, none of my relationships started as a drunken hookup, or in a nightclub whatsoever, and believe me, in my days I have been going out A LOT. I know that my personal experience, however broad, doesn’t count as a statistical population… yet. Nevertheless there are scientifically proven facts that must be taken in consideration when you are looking for a serious relationship.
Successful relationships are built on the fundaments of some mutual interest. Yes, the myth about the exotic stranger is just a myth. People are skeptical when they meet the unknown and they are less willing to open up with someone who they consider alien. Even when I have found a strong connection with a foreigner it was always based on solid amount of mutual passions, social background, education level, etc. This is not a coincidence.
This is why people who live abroad often end up marring someone from their own country. This is why for many people it is important to like the same music as their lovers. Mutual habits and values are the base of a stronger bond. Sharing more with your partner than you share with other people is important for the relationship and if this fundamental bond doesn’t exist it will be extremely difficult to maintain stable relationship; not impossible, but really, really hard.
So, taking all this into consideration, where can you meet such people? At your workplace, or in your professional circles, in the places where you practice your hobbies, in your friendship circles and among the friends of your friends, at the university, even in internet (not in the dating sites, but in the forums and the games – any site, where you enjoy spending time socializing).
Now you might say: well I am 35 and all those resources are exhausted for me!
Are your interests and passions exhausted? No! They aren’t! There is no age at which you won’t be able to connect with interesting people, as long as you remain active and engaged in social activities. Yes it becomes harder but not impossible. Just keep doing what you love most, socialize with the others who do it too and you will find new opportunities to meet people who you can have genuine connection with (mostly new friends and acquaintances, but also a people who potentially can be something more). The future success in your love life depends on this fundament.
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