There Is Something That Your Therapist Doesn’t Tell You

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Seeing a therapist is a huge step to a better mental health. Even though it isn’t cheap, it is an important investment in your current and future wellbeing.


Therapy is a step towards achieving goals that can’t be evaluated financially like happiness, good relationship with one’s family, life without anxiety, etc. And aren’t those the things we long for most.

During the process of careful listening focused on the patient’s personal issues, therapists usually don’t mention three important facts about psychotherapy, that, in my opinion, everyone should be aware of.

  1. 99% of the work is done by you. Paradoxically the therapist has studied 10 or more years just to know how to influence you as little as possible while you are in his/ her cabinet. So why are you there? You go there so he/ she can use all the obtained knowledge in order to facilitate your own transformation. We are not there to tell you what to do with your life.
    Imagine that you hire a fitness instructor. Of course you will advantage of his/her knowledge, but he/she won’t lift the weights instead of you.
  1. What you demand is not necessarily what you actually want. There is no way to explain this to someone. We don’t speak about it until you get to a stage in therapy when you start realizing it yourself. People demand many things but almost none of them would make them happier. In psychological treatment people tend to learn to make the difference between empty wishes and things that would actually make them more content and healthy. There is no way a therapist could be able to distinguish between them beforehand. This is why therapy must be personal and focused on your unique individuality.
  2. Good therapy is actually “cost saving”. I don’t know how to put it more scientifically. With prices from 50 to 300 $ per hour, going to therapy seems like a significant expense, but think about it more carefully. This is not only investment in your future self.

I would like to speak to you about today. Think about your unhealthy habits and how much they cost you monthly. It could be the cost of multiple cab rides for the ones who are always late, cigarettes, alcohol… If you are a man with low self esteem you might feel obligated to pay for everything when you go out on a date, or you buy lots of unnecessary presents to your girlfriend fearing that she might leave you if you stop acting like a walking wallet. And if you are a woman with a low self-esteem, you probably spend too much on cosmetics and procedures you don’t actually need. Maybe you constantly redecorate a house that never feels like home to you, for whatever personal reason. These are just a few possible examples.

Think about it. Even if you’re not seeing a therapist,  giving it some serious thought can improve your life a lot.

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