2 minute read  

Every breakup takes both of the partners. Afterwards each one of them can figure out for him/herself how much he/she has been hurt and why, so it is up to you to decide if you can call your ex or not. You are the person who knows you better than anyone else and you are the one who can evaluate if the problems that you couldn’t overcome the first time around are real deal breakers or not.

My observations in such situations made me believe a few things though.

The words that were left unspoken haunt us. If you have been very upset when you have talked to your ex previously and now you have finally succeeded to calm down, maybe you are ready to have a mature conversation already.

Time doesn’t heal emotional wounds but it gives us perspective… this is even better! It is good that you have had time to think about the situation between you two.

One serious conversation can’t hurt… but… be prepared for everything. He/she might have moved on and could be not interested in being with you anymore. You might get back together thinking that this time “it will be different” but it might not be.

Think about how you would feel with every possible outcome of your conversation, and then decide if the negative experiences that caused you the breakup are even changeable. Think about your feelings and decide if you are ready for this conversation and then decide to call or not.

In case that you are ready to have a serious conversation without unnecessary drama; in case that you have figured out what the problem really is; in case that you are ready to move on and forgive, than yes, you are ready for this call.

What happens next? It depends on you two. If you are able to have deep and meaningful conversation, then you will definitely have much more clarity on why you should or shouldn’t be together… and this clarity (not getting back together) is the best thing you can hope for.

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