3 minute read  

It is difficult to find a soul mate, isn’t it?

Especially if you live under the impression that there is a person (someone somewhere) who is just perfect for you. Or maybe you have the illusion that even if he/she is not exactly perfect you will love her/him so strongly all the time, that it will not mater.

Bullshit! Yes, there are people who are especially attached to each other, there are people who you can meet and fall in love instantly. Relationship chemistry exists, but real feelings grow when people share ideas, sexual desires, life goals, passions, fears, etc. All these intimate details can utterly attract or disenchant us. Sometimes it happens instantly, probably without talking too much, sometimes it takes time.

And yes, falling in love is great! So much so, that in the moments when I have had the feeling that I have found the love of my life, I have secretly felt sorry that I wish never to fall in love with another person again. But the sad news is that at some stage you will fall in love for the last time. It might be tomorrow it might be 80 years from now, who knows?!

But love is not just the tingling sensation in your stomach and private parts. We usually want so much more from a relationship. We long for understanding, compatibility; we wish to have this special somebody who knows us more than anyone else on earth. Even if we don’t especially look for love, there will be someone who attracts us to the point we start sharing our secrets, become vulnerable and enjoy it.

And then what? If we have the basic sexual compatibility, respect to each other, common goals and ideas, we can start building our love.

Oh no! You will never stop thinking of the hottest sex you have ever had. Especially if at your own bedroom everything seems to be the same every day. And no, you will never stop noticing sexy people on the street, and somebody someday might cheat. This is possible. You might fight, this is also probable. And yet, despite all the difficulties, there will be a person with whom you will be able to share all your fears; a person you won’t need to impress all the time; and the most important of all, with him/her you will feel just a little bit more secure than with anyone else on the planet.

Well, this is love, my friend! This is the love that you DO.

And this love is not something magical; it is not out of this world. You might feel that it is not even so special but it is the best you can imagine and yes, you feel satisfied more often than not. Because passion is something that happens to us suddenly, but love is something that we do.

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Illustration credit Natalia Mindru